• Mistress M

How to NOT contact a dominatrix (or an escort, erotic massage companion, Tantra provider...)

Updated: Oct 23, 2019


“What’s the worst experience you’ve ever had with a client?”, my 'vanilla' friend asked when I came out to them as a dominatrix.


Here’s what nearly all professional erotic providers have to deal with on a daily basis and it’s the most dreadful part of our job: Screening and verifying new clients. These inquires are the majority of most of my inbox and generally go straight to the trash:


“Wm, 43, fit, attractive, nice guy. I’m in Vancouver. Can I meet you this afternoon?”


“I read your website. Can I just ask you a question?”


“I just want to know your rates" (or any question easily found on my website.)


“your so sexy my name is bob R u avail now bby”.


Him: writes an 18 page novel about his fantasy. Has no intention of actually booking a session, just wants my attention for free.


When I get to the next step of verification (for in-person sessions) I often get these responses:


“My name is John Smith, I’m in the tech sector. Google me.”


“I’m very high-profile, you just have to take my word.”


“If my wife/job found out it would be the end of me.”


“I have no web presence. Let’s meet for coffee and I’ll tell you who I am.”


“I saw a massage provider named Rachel in the Bay Area a few years ago” (using a reference and obviously I have no idea who he’s referring to.)



This is one of the reasons I started requiring an application fee, it automatically screens out time wasters. My time is valuable and I don’t have an office manager to screen and reply to inquires.


Then every few weeks I get an application that shines in the pile of rubbish; it reads like a perfect resume seeking his dream job. I’m honestly over the moon when I receive a submission form with the application fee and they've take the time to tell me about their experience and what times work for them for a session. They've done the work to help me verify who they are by giving me their business email address, company website or well-established LinkedIn profile. It’s the sprinkles on top of the sundae when they include professional provider references, took the the time to write a kind note asking if there’s anything else I need and how much they look forward to a session. They are open and trust my discretion as a professional with their sensitive information; I know I can trust them behind closed doors. It reminds me what I love about this job— I love what I do, and my devoted students are what I love most about being a sensual dominatrix.



“How may I please YOU, Mistress?”


Grasshopper, It’s really simple: Read my website and what I'm about, especially the Essential page (that's why it's called 'Essential'). Comply with what information I’ve asked to verify you. Pay the application fee (and/or deposit to book the date.) Don’t make me ask a second time (or you WON’T EVER get a good spanking or pegging, if that’s your cup of kinky tea.)


Being a good submissive is like foreplay for sex workers. Make us wet with anticipation and you may just get a little treat for being a good boy.


Are you a good boy? Yes you are!


Tags: contacting a dominatrix, how to please a dominant, how to contact an escort, companion, erotic massage professional, tantra massage professional. Paying deposit to see escort, screening for escorts, verification for escorts, how to make an appointment with a sex worker, how to be a good submissive,

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