How to NOT contact a dominatrix (or an escort, erotic massage companion, Tantra provider...)
Updated: Jul 12
“What’s the worst experience you’ve ever had with a client?”, my 'vanilla' friend asked when I came out to them as a dominatrix.
Here’s what nearly all professional erotic providers have to deal with on a daily basis and it’s the most dreadful part of our job: Screening and verifying new clients. These inquires are the majority of most of my inbox and generally go straight to the trash:
“Wm, 43, fit, attractive, nice guy. I’m in Vancouver. Can I meet you this afternoon?”
“I read your website. Can I just ask you a question?”
)Writes no introduction or doesn't send verification): "When are you coming to (my city?)"
“I just want to know your rates" (or any question easily found on my website.)
“your so sexy my name is bob R u avail now bby”.
Him: writes an 18 page novel about his fantasy. Has no intention of actually booking a session, just wants my attention for free.
When I get to the next step of verification (for in-person sessions) I often get these responses:
“My name is John Smith, I’m in the tech sector. Google me.”
“I’m very high-profile, you just have to take my word.”
“If my wife/job found out it would be the end of me.”
“I have no web presence. Let’s meet for coffee and I’ll tell you who I am.”
“I saw a massage provider named Rachel in the Bay Area a few years ago” (using a reference and obviously I have no idea who he’s referring to.)
This is one of the reasons I started requiring an application fee, it automatically screens out time wasters. My time is valuable and I don’t have an office manager to screen and reply to inquires.
Then every few weeks I get an application that shines in the pile of rubbish; it reads like a perfect resume seeking his dream job. I’m honestly over the moon when I receive a submission form with the application fee and they've take the time to tell me about their experience and what times work for them for a session. They've done the work to help me verify who they are by giving me their business email address, company website or well-established LinkedIn profile. It’s the sprinkles on top of the sundae when they include professional provider references, took the the time to write a kind note asking if there’s anything else I need and how much they look forward to a session. They are open and trust my discretion as a professional with their sensitive information; I know I can trust them behind closed doors. It reminds me what I love about this job— I love what I do, and my devoted students are what I love most about being a sensual dominatrix.
“How may I please YOU, Mistress?”
Grasshopper, It’s really simple: Read my website, especially the Rates and Logistics page if you want to meet me in person. Comply with what information I’ve asked to verify you. Pay the application fee (and/or deposit to book the date.) Don’t make me ask a second time (or you WON’T EVER get a good spanking or pegging, if that’s your cup of kinky tea.) I never meet with strangers in person without verification, but if you want stay anonymous you can book a session online, or you can meet me for an 'Dominant Girlfriend' all-public date when I'm in your city.
Being a good submissive is like foreplay for sex workers. Make us wet with anticipation and you may just get a little treat for being a good boy.
Tags: contacting a dominatrix, how to please a dominant, how to contact an escort, companion, erotic massage professional, tantra massage professional. Paying deposit to see escort, screening for escorts, verification for escorts, how to make an appointment with a sex worker, how to be a good submissive,